2.20.07

my father:
there was a long period of time where i was saddened because i saw how close-at-hand a good relationship with him could be, yet i saw how far i had yet to travel to gain his trust and respect. he knows that i'm human, and prone to bouts of procrastination, and he understands that i don't really know what i'm doing any more than anyone else does, but he's willing to discuss the process with me, and he's willing to discuss music and films with me. he's willing to pick apart philosophical concepts and scientific procedures and political dynamics, and somehow to connect all of these to the things i care about and the things he cares about. it's because of my father than i have come to understand the interconnectedness of things, and the power of the arts, and the complexity of culture, and the importance of being self-sufficient and introspective yet also open in conversation and self-forgiving.

and i love music. it's my fuel and it's the plasma of my bloodstream and it's, somehow, the catalyst that has helped me to connect with most of the people that i care the most about. i feel extremely lucky. and i feel that i am standing on the edge of a valley filled with infinity. and the people that i care about have infinity in their eyes too and that's why i love them. they realize that they can do whatever they want and be anything they want, and enjoy the process of finding these things and seeking these things and dreaming/ wondering about these things.