7.12.07

just had the most amazing few-days' worth of conversation with my buddies in spider friends. took dean and justin to chipotle yesterday night and bought them a communal burrito, and we talked about music and life and, most particularly, the symbiotic nature of those individuals involved in the world of music, and the willingness of people to help one another out when they see that the cause of the other individual is true and sincere, and the "fake it till you make it" policy and the truth behind it.

played a show tonight and then had to literally run off-stage and out of my house afterwards in order to do a training closing shift at armadillo. came back after work and had a pabst, courtesy of spider friends, and discussed the same sorts of things some more. tentative plans for touring, and the following phenomenon: the universe seems willing to provide to those who care about something and those who are willing to make sacrifices and put in a lot of work for that which they care about. if the cause is legitimate, and if the motives are real, it almost takes effort to fail at anything.

dean says, "hit by a car in a few hours and dead today? stoked." because he knows he's gone out there and really put his all into what he cares about, and because he's given up all the filler in life in order to do so.

you know what? i agree. dead tomorrow? stoked. because i've been honest with myself and with others. those that i've cared about have known, and that's all i can ask of anyone. those things that i've wanted to do, i've begun to do. and i'm even more stoked if i do have a full life ahead of me, because there's an infinite number of experiences to be had and people to know and places to see. i fully condone those who pursue the arts and who live exactly the way they feel one should live, even if it means bypassing offers for money or lucrative jobs or security or comfortability. giving something that really matters to the self is worth so much more than dollar bills when the individual is lying on his death bed. man on his deathbed cannot quantify his millions of dollars, but man on his deathbed can feel good knowing that he has not given up on the things that he has cared about, and knowing that he has put real, solid effort into his endeavors.

dean told me he thinks i need more people to try to pull me over to the dark-side. by "dark-side", he means the world of expression and creation and full-blown pursuit of music and artistic expression. i told him i think i've lived my life for a long time now hoping more people would try to convince me to do so.